The Deanna Jones Saga, Part II

After realizing my inevitable doom, things pretty much went down hill from there. The forced relationship between myself and the random black girl had it's ups and downs...but after a long and hard two days, we decided to call it quits. A couple of months would pass, with Deanna on my back everyday. Chasing me off the bus, sending me home in tears, and a phone call as soon as i got into the door.

"Is Trevuh there?!"

Now, I have two older siblings who loved to make my life hell. Still do at times. I plead with them, that when Deanna called to tell her that I wasn't home. She would call...

"Is Trevuh there?!"
And my brother or sister would smile, look at me...and I knew who it was. They'd turn to me to see my head shaking back and forth, arms waving....

"Yeah, hold on just a sec..."

DAMN!!!!!!

However, one time my older sister, answered the phone and lied to Deanna, telling her I was not there. And of course I was. Now, Deanna somehow knew i was indeed there. After some exchanging of a few curse words from my older sister and Deanna....this is what was said.

"Well, how bout I come ova dere and beat you wid my shoe?!"
"GO Ahead! Come on over!" Oh shit....my sister is gonna get murdered by Deanna. I was so incredibly scared. Not only for myself. But, for my sister as well.

Deanna comes strolling across the street, shoe in hand. And not just any shoe, mind you. It appeared to be a shoe from a 1970's hooker. Big tall disco shoe and what not. There was a knock on the door. I went to the door to see if I could settle this...maybe offer my body to her to save the lives of my family. Or something like that...

"Where ya sista?!"
"Um..she's not here"
"Don lie to me boy, I'll hit ya ass wid dis here shoe firs....now whur she at?!"
"I don't know, Deanna..."


"Aight den, I see how it gonna be. You ole bunch of white people scared huh?!" Wrong thing to say...my sister heard that and comes running around the corner to the front door.

"You gonna hit me with that shoe? Come on in here and do it!"
"GUR! Don't you be tellin' me what to do! I'll beatcha ass wid dis shoe!"
"Do it then! Come on..."
Well, needless to say, Deanna didn't hit anyone with the shoe...she backed down to my older sister and went on home across the street. She really didn't call much after that. But, I still got it at school...she liked to now call me Trevor Sausage. (My name is Trevor Sursa, good one Deanna). But for some reason it still hurt my feelings. She still made my life a living hell.


Summer came and gone, and we were going to be sixth graders. Maybe she wouldn't be in my homeroom this year. Maybe I'll only have to deal with her at lunch! WRONG! She was in fact in my homeroom, and not even that, she was my desk partner....SHIT! I couldn't catch a break. I really had the thought burned into my head that I was going to have to marry this girl...don't ask me why. But I did. The first week of school was shitty. Miserably shitty! She was mean as ever..The first day of the next week, I went to school. Head dragging, preparing myself for another day in hell. I looked at my table...Deanna wasn't there. What?!

I asked my teacher

"Ms. Reedy, where is Deanna?"
"Deanna moved Trevor."
HOLY SHIT! Did all my dreams and prayers become answered at one simultaneous moment?!
She was right, I probbaly asked 100 people where Deanna was that day, just to make sure. She in fact, moved. Then, for some strange reason, i began to feel a little sad she hadn't called me to say bye or that she had fun making my life shit. I went into the bathroom to think some things over....EH! FUCK IT! She's gone!! I started running around the bathroom, celebrating! Flushing every toilet, pulling out paper towels and throwing them, kicking open doors, and screaming at the top of my lungs!


Life was a breeze...I never saw again.

Until...my senior year she moves back. Now, I was at the top. I was the one running the school, everyone listening to what I said, and making the jokes. Deanna had two kids, with the third on the way. And I had out grown her too. But, I can't say that when I heard her name, my stomach started to turn. She stayed there the whole year and graduated with us. I never said one word to her...we made eye contact, but that's about it. But, I can proudly say...that Deanna Jones made me a little tougher. And helped me deal with people like that in my life, and taught me how to stick up for myself. So, thanks Deanna...here's to you. (Raises glass)

The End